Who is Luis Felber? Interview with Lena Dunham’s husband


Luis Felber and Lena Dunham are in love. The couple did not hide this fact on their Instagram accounts These last months. And now they’re married.

Asked when he knew he wanted to marry Mrs Dunham, Mr Felber replied via email on Monday: ‘There have been a lot of moments, there are a lot of moments and there will be a lot of moments. I don’t live in a Disney movie where you are sure you know who you want to spend the rest of your life with in an instant. Time is fluid and when you know, you know. I love my wife, who is also my best friend.

So who is Luis Felber?

Born in Winchester, England to a Peruvian mother and a British father, Mr. Felber spent his early years in Peru and Chile before returning to Britain at the age of 7. At 17, he left college and began a career in music, playing guitar with several different bands.

Recently, Mr. Felber, 35, recorded and performed under the name Attawalpa (his middle name, after the 16th century Inca ruler Atahualpa). On October 13, he will release a new single, “Peter Gabriel’s Dream”.

Below is an interview, edited for clarity, conducted with Mr. Felber on Zoom in early September.

So how did you first meet Lena?

It was a blind date. One of our mutual friends set us up. The first time we spent time together, we just kept talking for, like, eight hours.

Where did you go?

Right around central London because everything was closed.

So you walk the streets along the Thames?

Yeah and I think it was kinda amazing, you know, I got into that. I had quite a few dates last year. As a fairly open person, I find you hold back a lot on your first three dates. Or the first 10 dates. I was just a little bit fed up, so I just got into the real situation myself, I would say. And Lena liked it. And it is the same.

Is it fair to say that your relationship seemed to get very intense very quickly? Or is it just our impression via Instagram?

Yes, I mean, describe “intense”.

It feels like the two of you are very passionate about each other, that you are both very much in love and that it happened very quickly.

I think when you know, you know. I’ve only lived 35 years in this life, and I think it’s another archaic thing for guys to hide their feelings. I am much more in the flow of getting to know the person. And I think Lena is the same, and I think – I’m going to sound corny – but when you find your soul mate, you know it.

She’s very open to you on Instagram. How does this make you feel?

It is very moving. I’m still getting used to someone else showing me that kind of love. I never closed it, nor anyone for it. It’s beautiful that she expresses herself and I love being on the other end.

How do you like living together?

It’s great, we’ve been living together for about four months now. We both work a lot and every morning is a blessing. And every night, in order to be able to go to bed with his best friend and have a chat, we have a hard time going to bed at a decent hour. It is rarely eight o’clock.

What kind of date do you have now?

Oh my. She comes to my concerts. None of us really drink, but we take long walks on the moor, we see friends, we watch movies, we just watched the whole of “BoJack Horseman”. I could be sitting at a bus stop with her for 10 hours and it would be the best day of my life.

How do your parents like Lena?

They like it. My mom is very shy, and she kind of builds barriers. It’s a question of protection, I think of leaving a country when you’re very young, without knowing the language. I think maybe this is an obstacle she has had since she was a child. I can sort of relate to that. But with Lena, she was just, like, best friends. She was very open to her emotions and they just love each other. My father too.

That’s the problem: Lena’s parents and I are still together, and I think that’s a great example.

Lena’s parents are artists: her mother is photographer Laurie Simmons and her father is painter Carroll Dunham. Your mother is the painter Alma Laura. Would you say that you and Lena are similar?

I think we have the same references. We were born the same year, less than a month apart, I think we have the same sense of humor. I don’t know if we are alike. Lena would be able to answer further.

Do you have your mother’s work in your house?

We have a few paintings from her. They make me feel really calm.

Lena realized the video for your song “Tucked In Tight”, a love song on your phone. What was it like working with her?

This is the best – I like to be led by her. It’s like our relationship, it kind of sinks. We have no arguments. She is obviously very good at what she does.

Had you heard of Lena before you started dating or seen her work?

No. Mom was a fan of “Girls”. I remember when I was on tour in my twenties my mom and sister watched this show. But I never looked at it.

Have you seen it now?

I do not have. But I watched his current stuff. I watched “Industry” when we first started dating, and I tagged her next movie, “Pointed stick“, which will be released next year. It’s a very beautiful film.

When you are an artist, you live in the present, in the future. Looking for the next thing. Looking back is something we shouldn’t be doing too much, in order to be able to move forward with ease.

But I’ll watch “Girls” someday, to answer your question. I can see what impact it has had on people. I was having lunch with old school friends and my friend’s sister was really excited about Lena. I asked, “How did the ‘Girls’ make you feel? She said, “I feel like it gave me a voice,” and it’s amazing. What a beautiful thing to hear from your partner.

How would you describe your musical style to someone who has never heard it before?

If I feel lazy, I say “alternative”. If I feel arrogant, I will say it’s between Prince and Nirvana.

You have worked as a musician for much of your adult life. How did you like the rock’n’roll lifestyle?

Basically I toured a lot in my twenties, playing guitar for different bands. When you are on tour, you are basically given whatever you want. Alcohol and weed were my main methods of numbing. In the UK, alcohol is considered a normal weekend thing to do. But if your job is to play every night, you’re given alcohol every night. It’s almost like a part of your job.

I wouldn’t say I’m sober, but I haven’t been drinking since November. I just drink when I feel like it. I call it “drinking consciously”. I never did AA, but started therapy in 2017. Therapists would say, you have to stop drinking so you can hear your thoughts, and I would say, no. It lasted about six months. And then I did a five-element acupuncture session, and I quit drinking for about a year.

It’s a bit romanticized, isn’t it – the musicians and the alcohol.

Yeah, in my opinion, I think that’s a way of controlling musicians. Most musicians are not responsible for their business, not responsible for their money or even for how they look or how they are viewed. So it is very easy to fall into this trap and be numb to everything and expect your manager to take care of things.

For me the most punk rock thing is to be aware. Since I became aware I have managed to release a lot of music and be more open to who I am.



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